Notes To My Beans

The day to day tales of my life with the beans

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Early bird

The bean has always been an early bird although sometimes I think we may have turned him into one.

Generally speaking, our morning routine consists of waking him up at 6:40am, changing his diapers and lately his clothes (I use to bring him to grandma’s in his pjs but lately he’s been leaking in his nighttime diaper), leaving our home around 6:50am all so I can get to work before 8:30am. More often then not, he’s already awake by 6:30am on weekdays. Maybe once a week I’ll have to wake him up (a parent’s gotta do what a parent’s gotta do) but after a minute of crankiness, and once his binky is in place, he’s usually chipper and ready to start the day.

This works out great, except for a few scenarios:

1. Weekends Unless we have something planned, we let the bean sleep as long as he wants to on the weekends. Of course, he rarely sleeps pass his usual 6:30am wake-up time. This isn’t that big of a problem since I’m also an early bird. But unlike the bean, I like to take my time getting out of bed in the morning, especially in the winter — it’s dark and cold out there! I try to have him stir himself back to sleep, but he usually doesn’t and after 20 minutes or so he’ll start talking to himself and standing in his crib. I could leave him in there but it’s too cute to not rush into his room and hug him. Plus, I know that it’s only a matter of minutes before everything escalates and he starts crying and I don’t like to wait until he’s crying to pull him out of his crib.

2. Late nights It seems that the later the bean goes to bed, the earlier he wakes up. On a normal day, we try to put the bean in his crib by 8pm. On the occasional night when we have a party, he may not get to bed until 10pm (or, in the case of Christmas and New Years Eve, at 1am). Call us bad parents for not rushing back home to get the bean in his crib by his appointed bedtime but these times are few and far between so we’re okay with it. These days, he rarely falls asleep in the car (most drives home are only 10 minutes long) which is good because when he does and we put him down in his crib without him waking up, he usually wakes up multiple times in the night crying. When we get home and he’s still awake, we still do a modified bedtime to signal to him that it’s time to go to sleep, so then he’s awake for an extra 15 minutes.

After he goes in his crib, his wake up pattern is one of two thing: he will either wake up at 8am, so he gets his usual 10 hours of sleep a night, or (as is the case on Christmas and New Years Eve) he will wake up at 5:30am over-tired and angry at the world, or more specifically, angry at me and papaBeaner. And because we have to get out of bed early to tend to a cranky bean, we’re not happy parents. It’s a miserable time for all, until the bean’s morning nap.

3. Bad nights These are usually the night when we put him to bed still sleeping, or he’s teething, or he’s congested or the wind is blowing east to west and not north to south (which is to say, it’s pretty unpredictable when we have one of these nights). He’ll wake up multiple times during the night and start crying. Best case scenario is that he’ll only cry for 10 seconds and then go back to sleep. Worse case scenario is that he cries so much that you can hear him even after I’ve shut off the sound on the monitor. This usually wakes up papaBeaner and we spend a half hour watching him through the monitor, convincing each other that it would be a bad idea to go into his room and rock him back to sleep (we’re CIO people — judge away).

Again, these are times when he’ll wake up cranky and be in a fowl mood until his morning nap and one of the few times where I need coffee in the morning.

4. Early mornings Sometimes the bean likes to switch it up and wake up at 5:30am. And I don’t mean he’s stirring. I mean, he’s babbling and standing up in his crib. And I can’t resist that. But these’s mornings aren’t so bad because he’s chipper. These mornings we’ll stay in his room and play for a while until we decide that papaBeaner’s missing all the fun and go into our bedroom to wake him up.

I get very jealous when my sister tells me her girls slept-in until 10am. Although, I feel like her girls have always been able to sleep in and the fact that the bean doesn’t sleep pass 8am makes me think that he’ll never be one of those kids that will sleep in when he’s older. Sleep is a funny thing. When you’re entitled to sleep the day away, you don’t. And when you want to, you can’t. By the time he’s a hormonal teenager, he’ll be sleeping until noon. But I can definitely wait a little longer before those days are upon us. Until then, there’s always caffeine.


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IVF here we come

I got AF yesterday. Heartbreaking.

So IVF will become our reality. We’ll take a break for a few months just to give ourselves a break from the testing, needles and the stress of it all.

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A sickly cycle

For once, a post with “cycle” in the title, that’s not about TTC.

It started 5 weeks ago. I felt a little tickle in my throat a few days before Christmas. I probably caught it from one of my co-workers. Next day, I had a full blown sore throat that I treated with copious amounts of decaf tea and throat drops. Luckily the pain had subsided the next day, but it was replaced by a runny nose which only lasted 2 days and then a cough developed that I took with me to my Christmas party. Not a big deal, as far as colds go.

But then the bean started coughing. And his nose started dripping. And he was sounding super congested. We slathered up his feet with Vicks and put socks on those puppies before bedtime and the worst of it was over before New Years and his 18 month well-visit.

Then my mom got sick, which makes sense since she watches the bean while papaBeaner and I are at work. Although her cold symptoms were accompanied by a fever, so maybe she caught it from somewhere else, although she doesn’t go out too often. The following week, my youngest niece developed the cold/fever virus. Her pedi said it most likely isn’t the flu because she was fairly active once the Tylenol kicked in. And since she was too sick to go to nursery school, she was at my mom’s house.

And of course, next thing you know, the bean has a fever and a runny nose. Great. But we start thinking that maybe it’s because he’s teething. Next thing we know, his top 2 canine teeth have started to come in.

Unfortunately, now I’m sick again and it’s much worse than a month ago. I have an awful sinus headache, a stuffy and clogged nose and I can’t stop sneezing. On my way to work, I bought a huge arsenal of meds to combat this cold but then a quick Google search revealed that I couldn’t take most of it if I were pregnant — better safe than sorry. But to add to my sickness, papaBeaner also has the same symptoms as I do. Needless to say, ours is a pretty miserable household.

And I’m totally blaming this all on winter … go away winter! You were fun when it was the holiday season, but now you’re just annoying. And to dip down to beyond fridge temperatures is just not fair.


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Cycle 4 – 2WW

My previous 2WW’s have been filled with anticipation. This one has been filled with lots of anxiety and moments of fright. I have zero pregnancy symptoms, except for some lightening pains in my right boobie a few days ago, but I’m sure that’s nothing. I also have no AF symptoms, although the last 2 cycles those didn’t start until 24 hours before AF showed up.

I keep trying to convince myself that I’ll get my BFP if I can just keep AF away until after my beta test on Wednesday. But I know that’s not an accurate thought. If it does come, I seriously hope it comes during the weekend, because I don’t think I can handle getting the news that this cycle is a BFN at work again. Definitely not this cycle. Having her show up shortly after I got into work the last time around was pure agony and I have no idea if I would be able to handle if I got it again at work.

Fingers still crossed…

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Cycle 4 – IUI #1 Done

For this cycle I stimmed for 11 days before taking the trigger shot last night, which roughly translates into 7 morning monitoring appointments. The only iffy moment was yesterday, when my doctor was looking at my e2 results from the day before and seemed alarmed that the numbers were too high (although she didn’t tell me this out-right, even though I asked out-right, but her lingering at the screen with my result told me otherwise). The nurse told me that my e2 on Monday was 1002 (holy moly) but that’s to be expected since I had 2 lead follies — 18mm on the left and 16mm on the right. My insurance plan switched up the trigger shot to Ovidrel and I’m thankful because mixing the Pregnyl shot always left me a little panicky.

This morning was the first of 2 IUIs. For some reason my doctor didn’t tell me papaBeaner’s counts, but I think the sheet said 48MM which I think is great.

So, I have tomorrow’s IUI and then a progesterone check on Friday. I had toyed with the idea of testing out my trigger but since I wasn’t expecting to trigger so soon (well, soon for me) I didn’t get the chance to order any cheapie pregnancy tests. It’s probably for the best — one less thing for me to stress about.

The plan is to pray that I don’t get AF before my beta, which is scheduled for January 30. I’ve gotten AF a few days before my scheduled beta for the past 2 cycles so if I can make it to the 29th without getting AF, then I’ll test the night before.

My fingers will remained crossed for the next 2 weeks!

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Cycle 4 – Update #1

I’m putting the live blogging on hold for now.

Saturday was my first monitoring appointment for this cycle. It was also my first time driving to the new main office. The early morning drive wasn’t too bad but it took me almost an hour. The new office is huge! It’s definitely nicer and the exam rooms are bigger. It’s a good move for them.

The wait was insignificant. The dude that drew my blood was so slow and made my arm burn. The exam was quick too. I saw a new doctor – dr. asianFemale. As suspected, not much going on. Blood work confirmed as much – e2 was 56 and progesterone was 0.4. As a result, I stayed on the same dosage of 75 of Gonal-F.

Today was my second appointment. Didn’t wait long after the office official opened. I saw my doctor for the first part. I’m starting to think that everyone she sees me she treats me more and more with kid gloves. Ultrasound showed little progress which is expected. Blood work took a little longer. After Saturday’s experience it was nice to have a guy draw blood without me wincing.

Blood work came back low again – e2 was 61 and p was 0.36. I’ll be increasing the dosage to 112.5 and I’ll be back in the office on Wednesday.

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Cycle 3: Clearly that didn’t work

I didn’t get my BFP this cycle. No surprises there.

I went back to the RE after 30 days with no period and they did blood work and an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that there’s not much going on with my ovaries and dr. crystalBall noted that if my blood work came back indicating that I’m not ovulating, then I would probably go on BCP for 21 days, as Provera wouldn’t be advised since my lining is so thin. I was fairly disappointed that I would need to wait longer than the usual 10 days on Provera. And since I wasn’t officially in a cycle, the blood work would need to be sent to an outside lab and the results wouldn’t be in until the next day. Bummer.

Double bummer that they didn’t call me back the next day.

Triple bummer when, after I left a voicemail, they called me back the following day saying that there was a mix-up and they didn’t send out the blood work and that I would need to come in on Monday (I got the call on a Friday) and because Tuesday was New Years Day, I wouldn’t get the results in until Wednesday. More delays. Great. This was not a good moment for me. It was the same reaction I have when I get a BFN and I can’t exactly pinpoint why.

I had my blood work and ultrasound on Monday. dr. wavyHair (who really is the most awkward RE in the practice — I ran into him on the elevator and said “hello” and he said nothing) mentioned that if the blood work came back indicating that I’m not ovulating, then I could probably start taking the shots. All of a sudden, things are looking better. But I’m still not convinced that this will be the plan. Still, I try to order more meds. Except I’ve been told that the pharmacy that I’ve been getting the meds from can’t service me anymore because of my insurance. Blah, blah blah .. I have to go back through Freedom Fertility to get the meds delivered. Which now means I have to get them sent to my parents’ house so that someone can sign for them. Which means that I have to tell them that we’re TTC again. Meh.

So, I will be officially starting Cycle 4, our last IUI, tomorrow after the meds arrive. The first morning monitoring session is on Saturday and unfortunately they moved the main office 15 minutes further away from me so it will take an hour to get there now. Sigh.

Tomorrow’s another day, so hopefully by then I’ll start feeling better about this. Until then, blah.